Me too!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
