So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sober January is a disaster.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
