I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
