If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
