Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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