i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
