Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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