I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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