what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I cockslap morals
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
