Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
