I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
