Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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