I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
