The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
