we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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