I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize