Have you finally orgasmed yet?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
