evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize