I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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