I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
