weddingsv make me drug and hornr
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
