eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
