It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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