i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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