I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
