I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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