Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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