weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
