brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
