break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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