I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
