We won't sleep together?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
