before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize