i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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