plz talk dirty to me
Please, let me fuck your mom
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Holy sore nipples Batman
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
