when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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