craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
