he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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