Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
