I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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