I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
