i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize