She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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