There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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