Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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