The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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