I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Randomize
