The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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