i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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