I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
