dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
