All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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