It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and she was petting her beer can
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
