One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
