I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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