If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
