your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
