Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
