I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
