He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
porn star boner night. come get it.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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