i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
