Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
