I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize