you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
