Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
