You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
