when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
