I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
