Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
