im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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